Women Beware! I’m coming For You! (2)


This Majek was an enigma. He never kept any girl more than a month and he became my mentor in the affairs of ladies. Now, I intended to practise my man’s point of view and any girl that comes my way will be treated with such callousness that all ladies deserve. Any woman that dare falls in love with me will be given a shocker. I have vowed to leave a string of heart breaks in my trail. I will so much destroy ladies to make up for my lost innocence. I have steeled myself up to the teeth and I will destroy these perpetual sorrow givers.

I will make sure I pay back these daughters of Eve in their own coins. I now wish Adam had died with all his ribs intact. Then, we wouldn’t have had to cope with the vultures called women. I have suffered enough from the so-called relationship that I am too ready to drown the merciless bitches in their own broil had from now on, I am going to employ the ‘F’ theory to the fullest and I am going to hit them where it hurts most. Below the belt and I will make sure it hurts. I have enough venom in me for that.

You can call me a woman hater, an avowed non-conformist, a strait-jacketed chauvinist and you will not be far from the truth. The point is that mothers should warn their daughters to steer clear and husbands should put the reins on their wives and kids should keep their grannies under lock. I am on rampage and I won’t be a sucker any longer.

You might wonder why I am so bitter about these woe mongers. Wait until you read this story and you will see why I will never rest until I get revenge back. Yes, my mother is a woman but that is as far as it goes. I have promised never to treat any woman with kid gloves again. I may get married one day but that will only be to satisfy societal norms and what is expected of a virile young man. But love, that is out.

I met Lisa four years ago. I had just completed my O.N.D Programme and while awaiting my result, I got a teaching job with a private school in my state capital. The school had been making waves in the state and around its environs as regards the calibre of students it churns out yearly. I was just 20, young and energetic. I went into the job with such zeal that surprised even me. I was always punctual for my lessons and I was always well-dressed. I cultivated the respect of staff and students alike. All my friends and even the proprietor commented on my dedication and I was quite close to some of the staff, especially Wale.

It was he who helped me get a room in the house in which he was living since there was no staff quarters. He also encouraged me to come out of my protective shell and nab one of those pretty girls who were quite willing to go out with me. I was not keen on going out with my students but he emphasised that others were doing it and I should not be the odd man out. The girls were willing, ready and young. He said. He even told me two of such girls had contacted him to try and convince me to go out with them. But in truth, none of these girls appealed to me.

On a Saturday, after church service in the local church, Wale knocked on my door on the pretext of coming to listen to the music blaring from my set. He kept the door open and called onto someone outside to come in. I was surprised because I never knew Wale was with someone. In came a visitor I have never set eyes on. Since the room was a bit dark, I could not focus immediately on the person, Wale then opened the window and immediately, my senses reeled and I was catapulted from this world.

Standing there, smiling sensuously like an angel, was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen. To say she is pretty is an understatement. She was quite smashing and she had the right curves in the right places. Her round face was well set, her sexy eyes were just captivating and could make a reverend father forget his vow of celibacy. Her lips were the most endowed feature on her. She had this chocolate complexion and she was of average height. I was tongue tied and stared at this enigmatic creature for over a minute.

“Man, can’t you even welcome a visitor? Where are your manners?”, that was Wale breaking into my thought.

“Em… you are welcome. You see I never expected any visitor and such an angelic one on this gloomy Sunday,” I babbled, putting on my most enchanting smile.

“Please, sit down,” she gave a smile that was bewitching and sat on the only arm chair in the room. All along, she hadn’t said a word and was sizing me up. “Good morning, Sir.” She cooed.

“Oh, you mean you are my student? I don’t think I have seen you before.”

“Yes, Sir. I came back last night and I am the head girl,” she replied in flawless English.

“You mean you are the famous Lisa? I’ve heard so much about you and I now know that those who said you were pretty were not stating the real fact. I say you are lovely.” 

“Heard about me?” she looked puzzled.

“Look, I have been hearing about your unequalled beauty, your brilliance and your flair for acting,” I said glibly as the talkative in me took over. She blushed deeply and said, “I hope you are not flattering me o!”

“No, I don’t flatter girls and you don’t need any flattery. You are everything I say and I mean it.”

“Thanks for the compliment, Sir,”

“Oh boy, shebi we go play table tennis today?” It was then I realised that Wale was still in the room. I had forgotten him since I started talking with Lisa.

“Nna, I don’t think I can go for table today,” I replied, declining our usual Sunday round of table tennis.

“How you go come?” Wale laughed and went out.

“So Lisa, what can I offer you?”

“Anything soft will be okay, sir,”

“Now, stop calling me sir, it makes me look old.”

“But you are my teacher.”

“I know I am your teacher but this is not your class or our school. This is my house and what I say goes.” I then went out to the nearby kiosk and bought two bottles of malt drink and a bottle of Gulder for myself. I was about going into the room when I heard a sonorous voice accompanying the music of Roxette that was blaring from the set. 

To Be Continued…