R. Boyatzis and D. Goleman found 12 domains (4 each) specifying and elucidating skills defining EQ.
Here are the signs of low EQ, according to 4 different sources, (I chose the primary ones, hopefully, objectively).
- Not apologizing. Your ego stands on your way of admitting your fault and making another person feel better. Which one is more important? Your ego, or someone else’s well being?
- Internal drive toward pessimism and almost nonexistent problem-solving skills during hard times.
- Lack of interest in people.
- Not being judicious and prudent in recognizing people, their character, strengths and weaknesses.
- Lack of empathy.
- Not being able to handle criticism without anxiety, blame, or excuses.
- Missing cues from people around, not being attentive to details about people’s personalities and their reactions to you.
- Inclination towards being manipulated, particularly by ideologies or people focusing on your personal problems.
- Not praising people who deserve it. Being resentful in some way or another.
- Not being grateful for things you do or don’t have.
- Lack of emotional self-control. Well, that one was obvious.
- Lying. People with high EQ not only don’t lie, but also don’t sugarcoat the truth. Once a wise man said: “Hurt me with the truth, but never comfort me with the lie”. This quote is personally valuable to me and so true. By being almost disrespectfully truthful, you might hurt a man for a day or two, but by lying to him, you will hurt him for life.