Acclaimed Queen of Erotic Verses, Yinka Ayanda is an impeccable and uncensored lady. Yinka TNT, as she is fondly addressed, is also an inquisitor and realist and an excessive researcher who is very practical at what she does. In this interview with the Editor, FOLORUNSHO HAMSAT, beautiful Yinka revealed the inspiration behind her rawness, humility, humane persona, hard work, witticisms and intellectual boldness. You may not agree with every of Yinka’s ideas but it takes a person with an open mind to really understand her expertise and uniqueness. Read on…
Did your deep knowledge about sex and sexuality happen naturally or does it have anything to do with past experiences?
Past experiences, yes. I didn’t go to school to study sexual nursing. Honestly, I pick stuff from my marriage, from my friends’ marriages, from my parents, from my sisters, from people around me; even when I go out. I’m a deep thinker. I live in London. You might not believe this; I don’t party, I don’t club and I don’t keep friends. I love to meditate, I love to be on my own. I love to create topics for myself from what I’ve seen in the past, and from what I read. For example, Alhaji Wasiu Ayinde was around. He was in the UK to perform and I had the ticket, but I just found it difficult to attend the show. That is me. I spend time reading, meditating, talking to people and hearing people. I have good listening ears. I give my time to people to listen to their problems. So, I rarely socialize. I’m very happy in my space.
Tell us about your days as an air hostess; the fun, the experience and the lessons.
As an air hostess, I enjoyed the glamour, the exposure and meeting of people. That helped me to be where I am today. During my days as an air hostess, I used to be in an international crew. It was during those days that I made up my mind that I would definitely relocate someday. Here I am today with focus, determination and hard work. I have been able to achieve my dream.
Your Facebook show seems to be the most popular, tell us about other platforms.
Yinka TNT is the only platform I have. Be it Facebook, YouTube or TikTok, it’s Yinka TNT. You all know that the Facebook page is very popular. It’s something that people like. A lot of people would pretend not to be watching my shows because it’s about sex; a lot of people would pretend not to be my fans. But the fact is, sex sells and there’s nothing anybody can do about that. I’m not being hypocritical and that’s why I found myself where I am today. I love what I do. I don’t care about what people say. Without what I do, there can’t be life. What I do is recreation; it’s something that eases stress and what everyone needs. Without it, we cannot survive.
You are able to address things that are considered a taboo about sex and relationships without losing your fan base. What is the secret?
The secret is openness, truthfulness and doggedness. As much as people want to follow you they want you to be factual. They want you to say something and go out to research and find it the way you have said it. You have to be dogged, very focused and resolute. A lot of people would want to discourage you and say things that would make you stop, give you fights and say things to frustrate you. But when you’re resolute and know where you’re going, and you’re confident with whatever you’re doing, you will cross the hurdles and remain for a very long time.
Being able to adapt to different topics in your shows, what has it taught you about the complexities of relationships?
It has taught me to be myself. It has taught me not to live for anybody; it has taught me to know that I have a life. The fact that I’m married does not mean I should be in bondage. The fact that I’m married shouldn’t stop me from achieving my dreams. I’m married to a man. I’m not married to a man’s destiny and the man is not married to my destiny. I should respect you as my husband and I should be respected in return. It’s me before marriage. I’m an entity. I was born and raised before I thought of getting married. Be that as it may, marriage should not stop anyone from achieving whatever dreams you have. If your man loves you, he would love everything about you and help you achieve your dreams in life. If your wife loves you she will help you achieve your dreams. And if you love sex, even if you have a terrible attitude, sex will correct your attitude. If you have a man and the man likes sex, and you know that when you put up a negative attitude the man would not come to you, you would correct yourself. You would actually train yourself to behave positively every time.
You started your show in Nigeria, educating people about sexuality. At what point did it turn to treating raw sex?
I didn’t start my show from Nigeria, I started in London. I started sex shows because of the attitude of people to sex; the way people think about sex; the way people behave when it comes to sex, the hypocrisy of people when the topic is sex. I have enjoyed every moment, I’m not even thinking of stopping any time soon.
Share with us some of the challenges you had faced and still facing running your kind of show, given the nature of average Africans?
Criticism; destructive criticisms. But I don’t care. It’s not even getting to me at all. Most of the people criticizing are glorified dirty people; they are not clean. I know that they criticize me to kill my dream, my aspirations and whatever contents I have. I’m not flawless but I know that I’m better than a lot of them. There’s no harm in criticizing. But you have to be constructive in your criticism.
You match-make and you offer tips for better sex both in marriage and ordinary relationships. Do you also fix broken marriages or relationships?
Yes, I fix broken marriages. I had done it on a live show. I brought back a marriage that had broken for six years in one of my live shows. I was appreciated for that. Without asking, the woman came back and gave me 1,500 pounds. However, if it appears that a marriage cannot be mended, I advise couples to go their separate ways. I’m not the type that wants to force love. That’s why when you come to me for matchmaking, I tell you that I don’t have a good man, husband or wife that I can give anyone. There’s no way I can see through any man or woman who is a devil. I can’t pick a husband or a wife for anyone. It is the attitude that will help you see the type of man or woman that I have introduced to you.
You appear serious and decent. Yet you give raw sex talks. How do you reconcile both?
Talking about sex is like talking about life. Talking about life is like talking about breath. Talking about sex is like advising you not to smoke to prevent lungs cancer. It’s talking about how you live your life without any mishap. So, it doesn’t make me an indecent person. A lot of things people that don’t talk about sex do, I don’t do them. I don’t party, I don’t club and I don’t keep friends like I said earlier. I don’t dress to expose myself. You won’t find my children dressing or acting indecently. You find a lot of people so abusive towards me. When you find out what they do outside you’ll be so surprised. And I love sex. But I don’t keep multiple partners. I’m a very decent lady. I don’t sleep with multiple men. My partner trusts me. I don’t look for anything extra like checking his phone, watching him around or asking questions about his movements. That’s why I have my peace. I’m a very quiet person. It’s when I’m on social media that I’m Yinka TNT.
You don’t want to talk about your personal relationship. Is that correct?
I don’t want to talk about my personal relationship. But I have a relationship and a home that are intact. I have wonderful children.
Is there a certain way you handle each topic on your show or do you just open your page and go all out once you have a topic ready?
I don’t prepare myself before going to a show. There are times that I have different topics in my mind, but as soon as I get on my show I start discussing other topics. I read on a daily basis and I read every time. So, I can just get into my archive which is my brain and pick a topic, develop it and start discussing it.
Did it ever get to a stage where you felt like giving up on your show based on some reactions from followers?
It has never happened. I am a diehard. I am very dogged when it comes to that. I have never considered giving up.
What other job do you do in the United Kingdom apart from running a talk show?
I’m a qualified mental health nurse.
What gets you going and what gets you annoyed?
I am a lady who has a phobia for poverty. I always have ideas because I don’t want to be poor. When you don’t have ideas, there’s a tendency that you’ll be poor in life. Even if I stop my shows today, I already have other things that I can do. Within my few years into the air hostess job, I had started thinking about what I was going to do when I stopped flying. So, when I came to London, I started with a Health Care Assistant (HCA). And I told myself I was not going to continue like this. I said, ‘Yinka, for how long are you going to continue being a health care assistant? Do you care about your old age? How do you hope to survive at old age if you don’t have a good job that will pay your pension? Then my show started. Even while on this show, I have started thinking about what else I am going to do. That’s why you see me singing. Also, I went to school to study Mental Health Nursing. I’m always working and I’m always thinking. I’m always having ideas and I’m always executing my ideas.
What kind of personality is Yinka TNT?
Yinka Ayanda is a kind-hearted person. She’s a fearless lioness. She hates lies. She’s very honest, very proactive; she hates procrastination, she’s very hardworking, she’s loving, she’s a fantastic giver, she hates to be taken for granted, she gets angry easily but reasonably and doesn’t stay angry for long. Yinka Ayanda thinks about death everyday. And she lives her life as if tomorrow would not come. She’s pragmatic, she hates injustice, she’s a realist, a leader, compassionate and she doesn’t like to find herself in the midst of evil-oriented people. I won’t say I’m an introvert but I like my peace and I like my space.