ANITA’ s DIARY

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46

THE CHOICE IS YOURS (2)

I was getting really worried now. I cannot stand the thought of MD abandoning me for another woman. How would I leave with that?
“But MD loves me, he won’t do that to me, Aunty Meg, I know he won’t,” I gushed, my voice trembling with fear.
“But he loved his wife too. Probably still do. Yet, he came after you,” she responded. “And luckily for you, you gave him the child he had been looking for, and to put the icing on the cake, you gave him a son, and for that reason, you will always occupy a special place in his heart. But all of that could in a matter of days if a pretty new bride comes into his life.”
“And do you know the biggest shocker MD could give you if another woman comes into his life?” she asked me, a look of mischief in her eyes.
“No, I don’t know,” I shook my head, wondering where she was going.
She beamed me a wicked smile, “He could get that woman pregnant too!”   
I hated to admit it. I hated sometimes to acknowledge the truth whenever I am having this kind of conversation with Aunty Meg, she is very right! As bitter as the truth may sound, she is absolutely correct. MD could very well get another lady pregnant, what then becomes of me? The only edge I have over his wife, Aunty Elizabeth right now is the fact that I have given MD a child, something that has eluded her all through the over three decades they have been married. Once another lady gives him another child, there goes my only joker.
“You know something, Aunty Meg, I don’t like admitting it but you’re making sense. It’s really starting to frighten me. So, what do I do now?” I asked her, truly bothered about the gloomy possibility she just painted to me.
“You keep on fighting, that’s what every sensible woman does!” she answered confidently. She made it sound so easy but from my experience with Aunty Elizabeth hours ago in her home, I could tell it is far more difficult than she is making it look like.
“Aunty Meg, how do I keep fighting? I just finished fighting one yesterday in his house and it nearly got messy. How many ladies will I have to fight just to secure my future with him? And for how long will I have to keep fighting for?” I asked her, trying to make sense of what she was saying.
Aunty Meg smiled. “Listen, Anita, what you do not realise that, in this part of the world where we women come from, you just can never stop fighting for what actually belongs to you. You fight to keep your man, you fight to keep your marriage, your home. For as long as you’re still breathing and you are a woman, you will fight to keep your man and your home,” she stated.
I thought about it for a while. It’s not looking good at all. Is this what I want for myself? Is this how I hope to live the rest of my days, fighting to keep a man?
“I’m not sure about this anymore, Aunty Meg,” I said to her, shaking my head regretfully.
“Not sure about what?” she asked, obviously puzzled.
“About fighting to keep MD for the rest of my life, is it because I am not his legally married wife or because he has money to throw around women?”
“Even if you were his first wife and he is not this rich, you would still have to fight to keep him because there are several women out there who want what you have and they will go to any length to take him from you,” she explained, a cynical smile on her lips.
“So, it’s up to you to decide if your man is worth fighting for or not.” She continued. “If you think he is worth fighting for, then you do everything within your power to keep him but if he is not, then you can throw the door of your home wide open for the vultures to come in and take him away from you, the choice is entirely yours!”            
Aunty Meg, again, was right. She is always right. As hard and bitter as she sounded, it is the truth. The whole truth and nothing but the truth. As a woman, I would have to keep fighting to protect the man I love. If I don’t do that some very smart babes will take him away from me. Like I took him away from Aunty Liz, right? Well, maybe not exactly in the same way because last time I checked, the man still made it clear to me what her place in his heart is. She is his woman, the only one that would matter to him before any other woman. Whether I liked it or not, I had to take second place in his life, even if I am the one that has given him his only child. So, that means I have to play second fiddle. I may have to accept that and settle for my position. But, now, the question is, can I stop another woman from coming in to take my own place especially if she gives him another child?
It is going to be very tough. I do not have any other choice but to be ready to cope with it and hold my own. What I am not very sure of is if that is what I want for the rest of my life. Won’t I rather have my own man to myself and not share him with one or two other women? Am I not too young for all of this pressure I have got myself into? Is this what I really want for myself?
“You seem very lost in your thoughts…” Aunty Meg’s voice snapped me out of my thoughts. I had totally forgotten she was still in the room with me.
“What are you thinking now?” she asked, gazing deep into my eyes.
“Everything, Aunty Meg, everything,” I said to her. “I am wondering if this whole thing is not too much for me? I mean, am I mature enough to handle this kind of situation? Am I not too young for this?”
“Too young for what?” she’d quizzed me, a puzzled look on her face.
“Too young to be fighting another woman, a much older woman for that matter, for a piece of her husband, I just don’t feel right about it anymore,” I could myself falling mentally and physically apart inside.
“Well, yes, I may agree with you that you’re young but it does not change anything. The fact remains that you’re already in it, neck deep in it if you ask me because just in case you have forgotten, the little boy in front of you belongs to that man, so there’s no turning back for you now. Or you’re ready to become a single mother and raise your boy all by yourself?”
I didn’t answer. I didn’t need to. She knew the answer to that question.
“Fine, so, I take your silence to mean, no, you don’t want to be a single mother,” she returned. “So, if that’s the case, my dear, then you had better dust up your fine ass and roll up your skirt because there’s still a lot fighting ahead of you,” she reminded me yet again. “If your child means a great deal to you, then you will fight to keep his father, no matter the shit his wife or any other woman throws at you. But if you do not give a damn about your boy’s future, then you might as well take that bold step and walk away from his father forever, if that is what will make you happy….”                
…To Be Continued