Going through a divorce isn’t easy. You finally realize that a person—someone who was supposed to be the love of your life—isn’t the right one for you.
Divorced women need to take time to process their feelings and emotions before they start dating again; but when the time comes, online dating is a wonderful way to start putting yourself out there.
Because starting over can feel vulnerable and difficult, this article provides dating tips to help divorced women find love again.
- Have confidence.
Divorce and stressful relations with your former spouse can take a toll on your confidence. You may have difficulties trusting anyone; but dating after divorce requires confidence. If you aren’t confident just yet, you can simply act confident; eventually, the confidence will follow. Don’t walk around bar, coffee shop, club, or a gym staring at ground. Practise holding your head up high and smiling at people as you make eye contact.
Confidence is important in online dating as well. You can’t literally walk with your head held high, but you can express your confidence in flattering pictures, the About Me section of your profile, and in written correspondence with other MeetMindful members.
- Don’t compare yourself to others.
The worst thing you can do is compare yourself to other women. For example, there’s another divorced woman in the neighborhood (or one of your friends) and she’s already dating successfully while you firmly believe you won’t find love again.
Remind yourself that people recover from divorce and find new love at a different tempo. You’re two different people; which is why comparing yourself to others doesn’t solve (or help) anything. Again, focus on building your confidence and having fun.
- Be yourself.
You’ve probably read this advice a thousand times, but successful dating and finding new love can only happen when you are free to be yourself. There is nothing more attractive than a person who is brave enough to be himself.
- Don’t let negative divorced women (or anyone else) influence you.
When long-term relationships end, both parties are disappointed and frustrated. For example, after your divorce, you may have met other post-divorced women who seem to thrive on a disrespect and distrust of men.
Never let the negative attitudes of another person influence you; it goes without saying that all men (and all women) aren’t the same. Keep faith that the divorce was a healthy decision and the right partner for you is out there. The danger with people who are stuck in negative thought patterns (like disheartened divorcees) is they don’t offer advice and encouragement, they offer criticisms—fuel to an already unnecessary fire. When dating after divorce, you should surround yourself with people who encourage you to live a rich, authentic life people who will help you improve, not impede your confidence.
- Make an interesting profile on an online dating website.
As was already mentioned, online dating is an excellent way of testing the water and start putting yourself back into the dating pool. Register as a new user and get to work creating an authentic and interesting profile. Characteristics of an interesting profile are:
Great profile picture
Expressing your unique sense of humor
Adding hobbies and passions to show a strong sense of self
Detailed, positive About Me section
Honesty (always!)
- Don’t carelessly give out personal information.
Although the online dating world can be beneficial for improving your confidence, you should proceed through any experience with new people with a responsible degree of caution. Don’t, for instance, hand out your personal information easily.
Instead, take the time to get to know someone through private messaging first; if (and only when) you feel as though you have a connection with an individual, give your phone number or email address for continued, off-site correspondence. Intuition will tell you who deserves your number—when that person makes you feel special and you realize you prefer talking to them more than anyone else.
- Keep the first date casual and light.
Imagine meeting a great guy in a bar, or even in a gym, store, etc. (you can meet Mr. or Ms. Right anywhere). Or you finally decide you will accept an invitation to meet someone you met online. You go out on your first date, and you immediately start talking about what a tough divorce you have been through—DON’T make this mistake.
When you’re on a first date, you should keep the conversation casual. In fact, listening to these serious and personal stories on a first date is a major turn-off for most people. Instead, let your date get to know the real you—how fun you are, what you like to do in free time, etc. There are plenty of topics to talk about rather than subjects that are too serious and personal for a first date. Casual conversation will increase your chances for the second date exponentially.
- Take it easy
When dating after a divorce, many women don’t struggle with when it’s the right time to start a new, committed relationship; but it doesn’t have to be so difficult.
First, take it easy; focus on building your confidence and having fun while meeting new people on- and off-line. Remember: this isn’t a race. When you really like someone and realize that person feels good and safe for you, you’ll know it.
Conclusion
Dating after divorce might feel as though you’ve never dated before, as you’re not quite sure what to do, where to go, or how to begin. Start with your confidence, and everything else will fall into place.
